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Tea Towels - Aprons - Tote Bags

All of the designs below are available as tea towels, aprons, or tote bags!

Select your options on the product pages.

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Our friendship is built on sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

Our friendship is built on sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

Ringmaster of the Shit Show

Ringmaster of the Shit Show

Shit Creek Survivor

Shit Creek Survivor

So what happens when the chips and salsa run out? Do I die, or what?

So what happens when the chips and salsa run out? Do I die, or what?

Thank you craft beer breweries for making my drinking habit seem like a neat hobby.

Thank you craft beer breweries for making my drinking habit seem like a neat hobby.

That’s what I do. I bake, and I know things.

That’s what I do. I bake, and I know things.

They should have put more wine in a bottle, so there’s enough for two people.

They should have put more wine in a bottle, so there’s enough for two people.

This year instead of gifts, I'm giving everyone my opinion. Get excited.

This year instead of gifts, I'm giving everyone my opinion. Get excited.

Time to clean my house. And by clean my house, I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze.

Time to clean my house. And by clean my house, I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

What the fork is for dinner?

What the fork is for dinner?

Whatever totes your goat.

Whatever totes your goat.

You know it’s a good day when you don’t have to unleash the flying monkeys.

You know it’s a good day when you don’t have to unleash the flying monkeys.

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