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"I'm a nurse. What's your superpower?" Kitchen Towel
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"I'm a teacher. What's your superpower?" Kitchen Towel
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"I'm not saying I am Wonder Woman..." Kitchen Towel
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"I’m really glad we don’t have to hunt our own food anymore. I don’t even know where the sandwiches live." Kitchen Towel
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"Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk." Kitchen Towel
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"Love thy selfie." Kitchen Towel
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"Momster: (mom-ster) n. what happens to mom after she counts to three." Kitchen Towel
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"My career plans were much more exciting when I was five." Kitchen Towel
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"Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire, and used the insurance money to buy cupcakes." Kitchen Towel
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"Not today, Satan." Kitchen Towel
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"Our friendship is built on sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans." Kitchen Towel
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"Rescue." Kitchen Towel
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"Ringmaster of the Shit Show" Kitchen Towel
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"Shit Creek Survivor" Kitchen Towel
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"Sometimes I wish I was a bird so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads." Kitchen Towel
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Thank you craft beer breweries for making my drinking habit seem like a neat hobby.
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