Orders over $65 ship FREE / under $65 only $6.95 (continental U.S.)!

I don’t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you right now. - apron

I don’t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you right now. - apron

Regular price $28.00 Sale

This 100% cotton apron has an adjustable neck strap and waist tie, making it a nice fit for most sizes. It also features 2 front pockets - great for keeping baking utensils or grilling tools handy!

Design is also available as a tea towel here and as a tote bag here.

Related Products

A Bit of a Beach - apron

Always jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler. - apron

Atlanta Skyline watercolor - apron

Beach, don't kill my vibe. - apron

Christmas...I goat this - apron

Don't let your ice cream melt while you're counting someone else's sprinkles. - apron

Don't worry, I goat this. - apron

Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. - apron

Every day I am forced to add yet another name to the list of people I am going to eat when the zombie apocalypse comes. - apron

First I Drink the Coffee, Then I Do the Things - apron

First I Drink the Tea, Then I Do the Things - apron

Georgia Peach - apron

Georgia with ATL heart - apron

Happy Camper - apron

Here in the South, we don’t hide crazy... - apron

Hey Alexa, do the dishes - apron

I am on my “cutting my own bangs” glass of wine. - apron

I am silently correcting your grammar. - apron

I bake, because punching people is frowned upon. - apron

I don’t care if the glass is half-empty or half-full. Is there wine in it? - apron

I don’t have a bucket list, but my f***-it list is a mile long. - apron

I keep trying to make protein shakes, but they keep coming out as margaritas. - apron

I like big books and I cannot lie. - apron

I think my soulmate might be carbs. - apron

I will see your sarcasm and raise you some sass. - apron

I won’t be impressed by technology until I can download food. - apron

I wouldn’t do anything for a Klondike bar, but I would do some sketchy shit for some whiskey and bacon.- apron

I'm a mom. This IS my circus. Those ARE my monkeys. - apron

I'm a mother. What's your superpower? - apron

I'm a nurse. What's your superpower? - apron

I'm a teacher. What's your superpower? - apron

I'm not saying I am Wonder Woman... - apron

If Target had a bar, my life would be perfect. - apron

I’m really glad we don’t have to hunt our own food anymore. I don’t even know where the sandwiches live. - apron

Let's get baked - apron

Let's get lit - apron

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. - apron

Love thy selfie. - apron

Momster: (mom-ster) n. what happens to mom after she counts to three. - apron

My career plans were much more exciting when I was five. - apron

No Prob Llama - apron

Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire, and used the insurance money to buy cupcakes. - apron

Not today, Satan. - apron

Our friendship is built on sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans. - apron

Rescue. - apron

Ringmaster of the Shit Show - apron

Shit Creek Survivor - apron

*State Love apron

*State Love tea towel

*State Love tote bag

A Bit of a Beach - apron

A Bit of a Beach - tea towel

A Bit of a Beach - tote bag

Atlanta Skyline watercolor - apron

Atlanta Skyline watercolor - tea towel

Atlanta Skyline watercolor - tote bag

Beach, don't kill my vibe. - apron

Beach, don't kill my vibe. - tea towel

Beach, don't kill my vibe. - tote bag

Does this towel smell like chloroform to you? - tea towel

Don't let your ice cream melt while you're counting someone else's sprinkles. - apron

Don't let your ice cream melt while you're counting someone else's sprinkles. - tea towel

Don't let your ice cream melt while you're counting someone else's sprinkles. - tote bag

Don't worry, I goat this - tea towel

Don't worry, I goat this - tote bag

Don't worry, I goat this. - apron

Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. - apron

Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. - tea towel

Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. - tote bag

Every day I am forced to add yet another name to the list of people I am going to eat when the zombie apocalypse comes. - apron

Every day I am forced to add yet another name to the list of people I am going to eat when the zombie apocalypse comes. - tea towel

Every day I am forced to add yet another name to the list of people I am going to eat when the zombie apocalypse comes. - tote bag

First I Drink the Coffee, Then I Do the Things - apron

First I Drink the Coffee, Then I Do the Things - tea towel

First I Drink the Coffee, Then I Do the Things - tote bag

First I Drink the Tea, Then I Do the Things - apron

First I Drink the Tea, Then I Do the Things - tea towel

First I Drink the Tea, Then I Do the Things - tote bag

Georgia Peach - apron

Georgia Peach - tea towel

Georgia Peach - tote bag

Georgia with ATL heart - apron

Georgia with ATL heart - tea towel

Georgia with ATL heart - tote bag

Happy Camper - apron

Happy Camper - tea towel

Happy Camper - tote bag

Here in the South, we don’t hide crazy... - apron

Here in the South, we don’t hide crazy... - tea towel

Here in the South, we don’t hide crazy... - tote bag

Hey Alexa, do the dishes - apron

Hey Alexa, do the dishes - tea towel

Hey Alexa, do the dishes - tote bag

I am on my “cutting my own bangs” glass of wine. - apron

I am on my “cutting my own bangs” glass of wine. - tea towel

I am on my “cutting my own bangs” glass of wine. - tote bag

I am silently correcting your grammar. - apron