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I wouldn’t do anything for a Klondike bar, but I would do some sketchy shit for some whiskey and bacon.
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I'm a mom. This IS my circus. Those ARE my monkeys.
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Momster: (mom-ster) n. what happens to mom after she counts to three.
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My career plans were much more exciting when I was five.
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Not today, Satan.
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I kiss my dog on the lips.
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On The Outside I'm In Complete Control
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Here in the South, we don’t hide crazy...
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I don’t have a bucket list, but my f***-it list is a mile long.
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I think my soulmate might be carbs.
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Love thy selfie.
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